One of the biggest waves that comes crashing down on you when you realize you are heading towards divorce is your kids. I knew that I needed to do everything I possibly could to protect them and that meant even staying in my marriage and making it work even though it was broken. I had to, they needed me here with them, right. When the seams have become undone and your world is crashing, you always want to stay in status quo. I had lost all control of my life, my only rock was my kids. They were so young, they really didn't know what was going on around them. All I could think about was them, how could I protect them from this tidal wave of change.
One of the blessings of the divorce was my arrival to the therapist. This will be another blog post down the road about all the wonderful blessings that came from my three years in therapy with an amazing lady. One of the precious healings I was graced with was that it was ok to walk away from the storm. Do you know how hard it is to hear that when you think so differently? I slowly unraveled my subconscious believes about it and learned it was safe to accept things as they are. "Accept things as they are", those words became my mantra throughout the whole uncoupling process. I became strong in knowing that I had to be a rock for my kids and establish a safe, happy home that they could flourish in.
They were still young and had to adjust to two sets of parents and two different ways of acceptance. I had to come to grips with not seeing them every day and that was one of the most painful, soul splitting experiences I ever have come to live through. But these experiences are what makes you into who you are, I am the man and father I am today because of these events in my life.
What I know to be true for my family is that the best decision that was made was the divorce. The negative energy and tension that permeated the house in the later years was felt by all even if it wasn't on the surface. By us being apart now I know my kids are in a much better place both spiritually and emotionally. All I can do is love them unconditionally and madly and cherish every moment I have with them.
One of the blessings of the divorce was my arrival to the therapist. This will be another blog post down the road about all the wonderful blessings that came from my three years in therapy with an amazing lady. One of the precious healings I was graced with was that it was ok to walk away from the storm. Do you know how hard it is to hear that when you think so differently? I slowly unraveled my subconscious believes about it and learned it was safe to accept things as they are. "Accept things as they are", those words became my mantra throughout the whole uncoupling process. I became strong in knowing that I had to be a rock for my kids and establish a safe, happy home that they could flourish in.
They were still young and had to adjust to two sets of parents and two different ways of acceptance. I had to come to grips with not seeing them every day and that was one of the most painful, soul splitting experiences I ever have come to live through. But these experiences are what makes you into who you are, I am the man and father I am today because of these events in my life.
What I know to be true for my family is that the best decision that was made was the divorce. The negative energy and tension that permeated the house in the later years was felt by all even if it wasn't on the surface. By us being apart now I know my kids are in a much better place both spiritually and emotionally. All I can do is love them unconditionally and madly and cherish every moment I have with them.
Pain is awareness! You've come through it a much better person, and your children are testament to that.
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